Soothing voyages

A slight feeling of missing out is running through my body when I am seeing the aurora reports from the day before. I had felt it through my train window, I am telling to myself and I am reassuring myself by telling that I couldn't even hit the road even if I had known. Next day, another wave of solar wind is arriving earth. I am finding it intriguing to read all the details and make sense of many detailed graphs. The more I read about it, the more I get amazed and feeling inspired about the world and space that we find ourselves in. Constantly checking the forecast from the iOS application, I am hitting the road to the north once again. These road trips in the middle of the night to north, probably perfectly capturing my last three years, I am thinking. There's a slight chance of hope and I am holding onto it. I feel like I'll hit the road when there's a reason to embark a new journey.

I see few other cars parked in the car parking spot and I am thinking to myself that it would be such an amazing experience if these people drove here just to observe the northern lights too, even though I know that it isn't true. I am parking next to a camper car and taking a few nice sunset photos with its silhouette. I am getting more and more comfortable being out in the open, especially after the sunset. Sound of the waves hitting the shore from the Markemeer lake is making me feel startling every once in a while. Then I am putting my headphones and starting taking long shutter photos, observing the norther horizon. I am realizing how much of a light pollution there is on the north east horizon from the cities at the other side of the lake. I am taking photos of the sky, stars and the beautiful red sunset and feeling calm.

I am spending nearly an hour and a half. Occasionally few cars are passing by from the road leading to a small village. I am thinking to myself, how many times I have endured this road, on the bike. This road to the lighthouse has become a point for me that has many memories, from maybe five years back until now. Then I am coming back to presence by checking the forecast and the aurora is arriving at Friesland. However it's still roaming some few hundred kilometers up north. I am keeping my spirits up for a slight downtick on the Bz value of the earth's magnetic field and taking more photos. This uncertainty is giving me a different feeling. I don't know if I will be able to see or capture the northern lights but I know that it's possible. Then another perspective is telling me to think about the photos that I don't know of yet. When I start driving I don't know what kind of photos I'll take. And that's exactly what it's all about, I am thinking to myself.

I am hitting the gym and working on a core strength to find that balance between core, cardio and mobility trainings this week. I am making an okay full body workout and the next day hitting the road for a gran fondo with my friends. We are pushing some good watts around the clock and hitting some unfortunate details on the way. Somehow managing it to the finish line and towards the end I can already feel my quads burning and not having any energy or willpower left. I am switching to the cooldown in the last fifteen kilometers and making it home. The next day I am going through the parks of Utrecht with a friend. We are exploring the city in the early hours and the city feels so calm and quiet. Throughout the run, we are talking about anything and everything and then having a nice breakfast together. Towards the end we are talking about the northern lights and photograpy and I am opening the forecast application only to see a really good forecast going over Japan.

My jaws are dropping and I am monitoring the forecast in the next five hours on and off. The Bz is consistently trending negative and with two CMEs hitting earth at the early evening, the Aurora is already reaching around Copenhagen and Hamburg. This time I am texting my friend and we are hitting the road towards one of the northern beaches. One German car plate I am seeing with "AUR OR" initials making me feel that this is the signal I needed. I am smiling and then we are chatting about our upcoming trip and also having some tea with two chairs on the beach. Forecast is not looking good towards the sunset as the Bz is fluctuating. Though, we are taking many photos of the sunset, talking about the forecast and trying to estimate that point of time when to give up. And I am finding that really important to know when to stop or leave. Even though some expectations are leading to disappointments especially with low chances when chasing the Aurora, it's about the journey I am reminding myself and we are heading back home.

It's feeling good to get excited and take as many photos as possible during the road trip, I am thinking. Given that I had many days when I lost my passion, this kind of weekends where I am going through different kinds of voyages with ride, run and driving, I am feeling content about that spirit of seeking. There are steep climbs of my soul that I want to climb and obsequent streams that I want to swim. There are fights I want to end and there are struggles I want to surrender to. Only to reach that lagom state of mind where I accept and acknowledge instead of trying to change and rebel. Then, I am feeling afraid of that state with a question popping on my mind, what if that struggle was the driving force that brought me today and what if I lose it all if I reach that state of serenity.

"Umut bir ağaçtır
Gökleri sarar"
— Melih Cevdet Anday