One more breath, one more intention

When one learns a difficult skill or finds a valuable feeling after a long period of time, it becomes a core part of the toolbox. Swimming has been just like this for me.

How I struggled in the water for many years might be the topic of another post. However in this one, I would like to share the journey of my past three days. When I prepared for the first swimming workout of the new year and the last one of the previous one.

Over years, I developed many rituals for cognitively challenging tasks to make it easier for myself and endure through the challenge. However when I look at this particular swimming exercise, I can see that it has many pre, during and post rituals in its own story and journey.

After a long recovery time, I am starting to set my intentions for a swimming workout in the weekend. The way to prepare for this workout for me is to starting three days in advance. Because of an unbalanced inner state due to illness, I am setting my intentions to restart my active workout routine with a Yoga practise.

This Yoga practise becomes a way to check in with my body, understand how I am doing and which muscles have the most tension. It reminds me that after all, I am just a person who practises the sports as a hobby. It reminds me that if I want to keep the triathlon sports a part of my life for a long time; I have to stop, reflect and get those feedback from my body. It teaches me that if I try to stay in the moment with regular breathing exercises, I can reach to a calmer mental state. I can liberate my mind from the regrets of the past and the concerns of the future. It teaches me that to keep triathlon sports as a constant in my life, I have to invest in my flexibility both mentally and physically. After massaging my leg muscles with my foam roller and practicing lower back relief exercises, I am sleeping one more night with the upcoming swimming exercise in my mind.

On the next day, I am preparing for a short run to heat the core and get that lazy state over my body. Before starting the run, I am imagining the moment when my toes touch the water and it bumps my heart rate with the excitement already. In this run, I am not going for a personal best. I am not aiming for an all time long distance. I know that this run is just a tool to reach to a better inner state, better physical state. Therefore I am noticing my heart rate, and just focusing on my running technique. After a 20 minute technique focused interval run, I am mentally getting prepared for a full body workout. I am thinking that in order to support my triathlon skills, I have to invest in my core strength.

Swimming is such an important activity for me where I faced my darkest fears in the past one and a half year. I know how many hours I spent receiving feedback, focusing on my technique, trying to relax my mind and getting psychological support to become more comfortable in the water. I know how many mornings I wanted to quit and did not. I also know that I built guard rails around my life to protect it from anything that might jeopardise this valuable skill I learnt after many failures.

This weekend, once more I understand that these two supporting pillars of Yoga and strength training workouts that I have around my triathlon sports are there to protect my stability, endurance and mental resilience. By having these two supporting mechanisms, not only do I protect my core skills but also I am polishing my greed and hunger. Because I know that if I start that workout with a greed, it will only consume me from within. Even though I would be doing sports, I would be staying at the same point where I started. Just because I know that only way is forward, I have to keep polishing my greed. To protect myself, from myself.

I am setting my intentions for that swimming workout early in the morning as if I am going to travel to another city with my parents. For a 45 minute swimming workout, I am setting my intentions this time to surrender, to peace. Because in this new year, I want to end all the wars that I have been fighting for years. I want to surrender to love, serenity and peace. I want to surrender to the water and go with the flow.

On the day of the workout, I am starting by stretching my body and doing a five minutes of breathing exercise in the water to calm my pulsation. Then I am starting my workout with the first free style stroke. I am checking my inner state, my technique how I am doing with every stroke and every breath. I am hearing my swimming instructor's voice from Istanbul, in my head to correct my position at every stroke. Every time I am able to take a breath, I am inhaling with a gratitude. Every time I move two meters front, I am exhaling with a gratitude. Out of all the risks that might come to me in the water, I am setting my intentions to the best of all possible.

I am hoping to be able to host, whatever state life might bring to me, with the kindest hospitality in my heart. With that, I am planting my hopes in my heart and leaving myself to the destiny of what life might bring towards me in the new year.

Then I am finishing my workout by repeating this to myself, peace in my heart and peace in my life. By getting inspired by the beautiful quote from M. Kemal Atatürk:

"Yurtta sulh, cihanda sulh".